Hey.

If you got out of bed this morning, I salute you. If you managed to take a shower and get up and go about your day, that's an achievement. And if you didn't, that's okay, too. Take your time and try once more tomorrow. Time is short, but when you're depressed and going through hard times, time feels so very long.

If you haven't had any water for a while, try and have a glass. Maybe stretch a little bit and see how you feel then.

These little efforts will snowball into something great.

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I've been helping out one of my good friends who's been going through a devastating personal situation. I always worry about whether or not I'm doing enough, whether I'm being a good enough friend. When I start belittling myself, I try to think about how I'd react if a good friend of mine said the same things about themselves. I always get mad on their hypothetical behalf! So I shouldn't allow myself to think badly of myself, either. My friends know I'm trying my best.

Sometimes people just need someone to talk to, someone whose presence lets them know they're not suffering alone. This has definitely encouraged me to redouble my efforts to reach out, to touch base with people. You never know what they could be going through. If you have your doubts or worries that a friend might be in danger or need help, reach out. At worst, nothing is going on and they'll be grateful you cared and checked in.

That being said, make sure you take care of yourself, too. Don't spread yourself too thin. A real friend will understand when you just don't have the energy or resources to take on another's problems.

Historically, it's been hard for me to say "no" to things. I'm conflict-averse and a people-pleaser. But it's so important to be honest with your friends and family. And yourself. If you self-destruct because you overexert yourself, that's no good for anyone, least of all you. To support others, you must love yourself enough to keep up your health and energy[1].

Support your loved ones—but support yourself, too.


  1. I hope this doesn't sound like "You have to love yourself before someone else will love you" because that's not quite what I'm getting at... I think I still need some more time to process everything that's going on. ↩︎