I had a lovely time at D&D today! My character is a Tiefling bard who chose the name "Nocturne" for herself. She grew up in a small town, but has always dreamed of being like the heroes in the bardic tales she has always loved. So now that she's on this epic journey, she intends to be just like them!

The problem is, she has lots of stories and literary/arcane knowledge, but no common sense or practicality or experience. This leads her to make some impulse decisions that often end in failure:

Things were off to a great start when she decided to play the lyre to show off to her new companions—after claiming to be a master musician—and I rolled a 2 so like one of the strings broke or something, it was awful.

Then while investigating a house, she panicked when the inhabitants came to the door to check on the noise they heard. Nocturne failed an attempt to disguise herself[1] in the 5 seconds it took them to come to the door, so she decided to fall flat on her face and play dead. They came out, saw the "dead body" and were very confused, so they ran back into the house to grab the third person—and in that time, Nocturne leapt from the porch and into the garbage to hide. It was very pointless and silly.

Later, while tailing a possible criminal, she was spotted by the gatekeeper to this possible evil lair and couldn't think of a good way to escape the situation so she pretended to be drunk and then tried (and failed) to seduce him into giving her information.

She impulsively went to check out a suspicious mansion on her own and ended up getting her blood drawn for an experiment, then declined payment (despite being broke) to keep up her inexplicable cover story.

A scheme that semi-worked: she cast magic on this thief trying to steal chickens and made the thief believe that the chickens were talking to them Disapprovingly, causing the thief to freak out and run away. The thief eventually came back to fight and everything was on fire. The fire was only partially Nocturne's fault.


Nocturne disguised herself as a thief boss in order to distract and lure away a sentry, but was so nervous that she couldn't manage any of the boss's usual swagger. The sentry saw through her disguise and Nocturne continued to panic, unable to do anything to convince him not to yell for help. He did so, but luckily another member of the party successfully put him to sleep mid-scream. Nocturne had no idea what to do so she stuffed him into a large sack[2], stuffed all of her rations into the sack as well, and then disguised herself as the sentry. She attempted to throw the sentry-sack 20 feet to the forest, but failed, so she shoved the sack under her chair.

When three of the sentry's thief allies came out to check on him, she successfully pretended to be him, saying "Oh... I yelled 'help' because I saw a rat... It's gone now..." And all would have been well except Nocturne then nervously decided to give them some of her rations as a bribe—and that led to them being extra suspicious of her. She "admitted" to stealing the rations from the thieves' storeroom, which satisfied all but one... Who demanded "the rest" from the sack. Nocturne couldn't open the sack without revealing the knocked out sentry inside, so she PERSUADED the thief not to inquire any further with a charismatic "NOPE THAT'S IT, THAT'S ALL I GOT" which thankfully I managed by rolling a 15+9.

The thieves left and then while the group interrogated the sentry, she ended up playing her lute to charm him into finally telling them the truth and cooperating.

What a wild ride. It's probably the first time one of Nocturne's panicky schemes didn't immediately trigger combat. She means well!! She's just...impulsive and silly and tries too hard to be cool. But that's what makes her fun to play. Honestly, her panicked decisions are at least half me panicking whenever things go south. I have these elaborate plans and then at a critical moment, I roll a 4. Every freakin' time!!

As they say... That's D&D!

  1. She didn't have the disguise spell at this point, so she was literally trying to put on a wig and some make-up in 5 seconds. ↩︎

  2. A sack the chicken thieves used that Nocturne inexplicably kept afterwards. ↩︎