Good evening from slightly-less-hellscapey-but-still-hot Texas. I just got back from my weekend roadtrip. I went to Lake Travis with my family and boyfriend and we had a great time. I was expecting wi-fi on the houseboat we rented so that I could update my blog (I had so much to say!) but that didn't happen, so here I am now.
The lake was beautiful. As much as I love water, I haven't had much opportunity in my life to spend time in it. I went kayaking for the first time this weekend and I loved it so much that I'm trying to figure out ways to continue doing it now that I'm home. I want to try to go a few more times and make sure it really sticks before I buy my own kayak, though. I'm...known for getting hyped up about hobbies but then getting tired of them after a while, so I'd better wait before I drop $$$ on something like a kayak.
At one point, I kayaked to the middle of the lake. It was about 7:30AM and there weren't many motorboats out yet. The water was still and it was so quiet. I've never been somewhere that quiet before (without earplugs). I felt so at peace, moreso than I've ever felt in my life. I'd love to replicate that experience. Nature is wonderful. In the hustle and bustle of day to day life, you forget how amazing and nurturing it can be to be out in nature, on the water, in a forest... Now that it's finally starting to cool down, I want to try to go out hiking again for sure.
This evening I finally received my Tessera Oracle in the mail. It's absolutely gorgeous—totally worth the wait. I'm glad I scrimped and saved to be able to back the Kickstarter because it looks like it'll be a while before they're on sale to the general public.
I decided to do a reading for myself, specifically about The Thing that's been the root of my anxiety for the last several weeks. The Tessera Oracle has this spread called The Crown that starts with pulling 3 charms, but you can pull more to expand upon the original 3 or to glean more information about the connections between 2 charms. It can be expanded quite a bit; the booklet shows a crown spread growing to 6 charms. You're just meant to stop pulling when it feels right and when you understand the message that's being given.
So I did past-present-future. The Rabbit was my "past" and it represents taking action. That makes sense because I did take action. I did everything I could for this situation even though it was a leap. For my "present", I pulled the Sea, which represents a journey. I feel that with the waves being so stormy, it's...complication. Feeling lost and confused. That's definitely where I'm at. And, for a nice ending, I pulled the Dawn for the "future" which, as you can imagine, symbolizes new beginnings. That leaves me feeling hopeful. I wasn't really trying to glean information about The Thing itself, more about my feelings on it. I feel that even though I feel lost right now, I'm not lost. I'm merely journeying and there will be something positive at the end of it. I'll get out of this depressive funk I've been in.
I decided to pull another charm to expand upon the "present" and pulled the Flower, which represents growth and development. In the last few weeks I've been feeling depressed and not blogging as much, I've been doing more soul-searching. I haven't merely been moping around, I've been reading more and doing some self-help courses, thinking about the future. I'm still anxious, but I'm doing better. Finally, I pulled a charm to complement the Dawn and I got the Hourglass. Ha. Even this brand new oracle is telling me to slow down, telling me not to worry.
I know you want to know how to achieve that spiritual and/or psychological daybreak for yourself, but that just takes time. Don't rush. You're doing fine.
That's what I felt like the Tessera is telling me. Maybe we all need that message right now.
Probably not the exact center because the lake is huge, but I was fairly far out. ↩︎